A Peaceful Power

"So the past two weeks I've been recovering from the fact that I overwhelmed my system by closing the gap between idea and execution. I told myself I wasn't giving myself any more excuses, that I was going to wholeheartedly just believe God. He said what he said. I'm not going to argue with him anymore. I'm just going to do what I know to do.

1:09:37

I ate like three sandwiches this morning. When I say I'm not playing with myself, I ain't playing. I had to say to myself, if I'm going peanut butter and jelly to save money, it's peanut butter and jelly, okay? Because I got dreams to realize, okay? So I'm not playing around with getting tempted to spend all my good money on food, okay?

I overwhelmed my system to a degree that I'm realizing my whole body, my whole being needs rest.

I only came here, to be honest, to the studio because, like I said,

it's my happy place right now. And I needed to change the scenery from what I was looking at on a day-to-day basis. It was starting to make me feel like the world was small. It was starting to make me feel discouraged.

It was starting to make me feel a little bit of hopelessness.

I learned something about myself. I'm like, oh my gosh, I had seen, I experienced so much so quickly that I just like, I need to slow down. But I didn't listen. I was so hard-headed. I'm like, I know I can sense that I need rest. I can sense that I need to

slow down. But because I have this high expectation... I really was afraid to slow down. And little did I realize like I needed that space to be able to hit the target.

And the only reason why I came is just to renew my faith and my hope again,

just to remind myself, remind my body, what my mind and my spirit already knows. To align my body with that reality. Like I already know I'm still okay. Everything's okay.

It feels good, but it does make you feel like you really have to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's promptings. Because I do, I want to say I'm still getting used to when I'm hearing from God and when it's just me and when it's just something else altogether. But I could almost sense that God was trying to tell me, like, slow down and spend more time in his presence to get back charged up again.

anxiety was like...

But anxiety was like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, let's go, go! Go, go, go, let's go! And so I did not, I was like, I was like starting and stopping.

I can tell this is toxic. I just can't figure out. Rest sometimes feels so counterproductive. My goodness. But it's an essential ingredient. Rest feels like sabotage. It feels like I gave up. Especially when you are seeing that your actions are producing certain results, you get addicted to it. And like when you slow down, you be like, but wait, what's going to happen to this or what's going to happen to that?"

I got to be ON it! And there's a certain like cadence. I'm in love with that word now.

I've been using it a lot lately. But there's a certain cadence to it. There's a certain pace. And so I could just sense over and over and over again. There is a pace that comes with grace. And eventually, maybe, you know, you'll find it. You can still steady yourself enough to reorient. Because that's why I'm like, I just need to reorient my focus back on God. I think I'd I had been more focused on my own effort than his grace.

And so much so that I began to rely on my own efforts. And so that was producing more anxiety.

It hit me just now that I was manifesting because to one degree, like I said, I closed the gap between my excuses and arguing with God and things like that and leaning more into what he said. But I did it so rapidly that I gave myself no room to like, rest, ease in, gracefully move into it.

I was moving into it so anxiety-ridden that even if it had happened, it would have looked a complete hot mess, I promise you. Even if the manifestation that I was expecting came into its fullness at that time, oh my God, it would have probably been a hot mess.

And some things you can't undo.

Sometimes I'd be like, I'd be mad. I was so mad at God. Oh, my goodness. I was so angry with God. I'm like, you let me down big time. I can't even fully express it right now, but I was so angry, so disappointed.

I still feel like I could cry right now from the disappointment. But I sometimes be like, no, love be protecting me for real!

That's what makes me want to cry a little bit because I'm like, no, I think you just know your child better than I know myself and there is a certain rhythm and flow to this happening and it's going to look beautiful and it's nothing I've witnessed more or maybe taking a pause to just appreciate more and it's gracefulness.

And I feel like as women the world has kind of made us be very very hard very aggressive very proactive. But the grace of a woman, the grace of a woman is... just a calm confidence. A calm power. A peaceful power.

Grace is such a peaceful power.

The grace of a woman. When a woman just knows who she is and just embodies it.

It's nothing I've admired more lately...

PRESS PLAY to listen to "A Peaceful Power" (above) and hear more of my testimony following the Spirit of God out of an abusive relationship, and how God answered my prayer with a free ticket to "Herstory Conference 2026: Radiant", and a brief recap of my experience.

SCRIPTURES REFERENCED: Proverbs 31:30, Ephesians 2:1-5, Matthew 11:28-30 MSG, Genesis 3:1, Ephesians 6:16-17, Ephesians 6:23, Ephesians 6:12, 2 Corinthians 10:3